Lisa Vanderpump is moving onward and upward after a terrible year, but she’s still mourning the end of her friendship with Kyle Richards, we’ve learned exclusively.

Lisa Vanderpump recently tweeted that she’s ready to move on from the “worst year of my life,” but that doesn’t mean she’s not still grieving after the back-to-back deaths of her mother and brother, and the loss of her dear friendship with former BFF Kyle Richards. A source close to the restaurateur, activist, and former The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, 58, told HollywoodLife EXCLUSIVELY that while “Lisa doesn’t talk about it with many people, it would be impossible for her to not feel the loss of her friendship.”

“Lisa has suffered so much loss this past year and is doing her best to cope,” the source said. “She and Kyle have a long history and she is isn’t only grieving the loss of her mom and brother, but also the loss of her friendship. Lisa puts on a brave face but deep down, she can be very sensitive and has real emotions like anyone else. Even though Lisa tells people that she doesn’t care about cutting ties with Kyle, in reality, a piece of her is still hurt and feels betrayed by Kyle.”

Lisa will persevere, though. The Vanderpump Rules star told HollywoodLife in an EXCLUSIVE interview at the Vanderpump Dogs headquarters that, “I want to focus on the positivity and the things going on in my life that are going well.” She added that “of course” she’s sad that she won’t be part of RHOBH anymore. “I was instrumental in the show right from the beginning. I’m not saying there’s regrets. I think it was impossible for me to stay. To me, when I started that journey, it was a pleasure and it was supposed to be fun, it was documenting our lives, and suddenly to be involved in a situation where six people are against you.”

HollywoodLife reached out to Lisa Vanderpump’s rep for comment but did not hear back as of press time.

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